went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize