My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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