2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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