Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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