you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize