Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
