I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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