the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
