Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
