I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
