Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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