So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the day after is always just damage control
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
