I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
