Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
