:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
