Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
