**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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