I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
