this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
