I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
