nut hugger
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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