How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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