are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
