Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
