My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
