I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
should my penis look like a turkey
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
