My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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