Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So squirting runs in the family.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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