Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Shame - the story of my life.
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