covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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