I hate all girls vehemently.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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