Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
