I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize