i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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