McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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