oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
