Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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