and next time when you feel me up, do it right
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
