So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
