Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
