the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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