who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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