woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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