...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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