Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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