the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
