Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
