are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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