Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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