I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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