after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
