Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
