i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
