i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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